Perhaps you rolled your eyes, criticized your partner’s timing and initiation method, or even completely distanced yourself from them since you were annoyed that your spouse started sex and obviously couldn’t sense your mood or the circumstance.
Alternatively, you can feel guilty because you detest disappointing your spouse by saying no, so you consent to having sex in order to make them happy.
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- Clearly explain why you're saying no.
One of the nicest things you can do if your lover asks you to have sex but you’re not feeling it is to explain why to them.
That’s because a lot of individuals take sexual rejection personally by nature. It’s important to explain to your partner why you can’t have sex right now because people can get worked up trying to figure out why they are being rejected and frequently come up with an excuse that involves them.
- Suggest another time
A blatant “no” in the context of sex can seem very harsh.
When we are provided with a safety net, sexual rejection typically feels much more manageable. It’s at least preferable to say something like, “I’m not feeling it right now, but maybe we could try on the weekend, once my work deadline has gone.”
- Find another way to connect.
You don’t have to reject other offers of intimacy and connection just because you’re not in the mood for sex.
Even if sexual activity is off the agenda, sharing a warm embrace, holding hands, having a deep conversation, or participating in a fun activity together can all make you feel quite wonderful.
Even if sex doesn’t feel like a possibility, there are still a number of ways to feel close if your spouse is trying to reach out to you in another way than sex.
